March 24, 2013


A mountain feels like a most appropriate photo. I feel like I remember what its like to be at the top of the mountain. But there’s been a “steady, systematic decline” – Nine Inch Nails. This is how I would think many people with MS feel – – especially with a progressive type. With bits and pieces of one’s self slipping away sometimes it feels insurmountable but, alas, there’s hope. Fortunately, I didn’t wake up one day with everything gone: being able to walk, being able to use my hands, not having double vision. It happened over a 15 year period. Now, the reason why I say fortunately, is because I have been able to adjust to each loss as it occurred. If it had been sudden I’m not sure how I would have handled it, but because it’s been a slow, prolonged process I’ve been able to adjust accordingly. 

     The picture of the mountain has trees in front of it which require one to adjust to the hike with the eyes peering up at the top. There’s no cure, but the “top” of this disease, at this stage, is being able to make it to a doctor’s appointment or another outing; such as visiting a relative or even through a shower. It seems trivial but now it’s the little things that are really big. 

             It may sound crazy but I feel incredibly fortunate. I’ve heard of people with MS who are blind. But, (even with my perennial double vision) I’m very pleased to see a beautiful sunset or even watch programs on my television. I can taste, smell and, with help, I can touch, with no sensation lost. I can feel, I can taste delicious food: I can still speak with relative clarity, and people understand  what I am saying, for the most part. Hearing music is a blast from the past.  

Seeing this keyboard reminds me of all the emails I sent and typing I’ve done. I’m going to rap up for now and we’ll continue later.


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