A Darkness of the Soul

November 9, 2017

It’s been such along time since I’ve wrote last, but I’m back again.

It took a few weeks to look for one more Pca, it’s hard to get good help these days, as they say. I try to advice people to have a good prospective. Having a happy disposition around me is a plus and helps me to remain positive.

Depression is a topic I’ve only touched upon, but it’s not impossible to experience this. I don’t pretend to know everything about this subject, so I would suggest Depression: National Multiple Sclerosis Society. I’ve only briefly experienced this problem as it relates to my prospective while I’ve had M.S. It can be a problem related too the situation of decreased mobility. And even then it can include any degenerative disease.

 If I had just awaken one day and found myself in the shape I’m in now, I think I would have at least depression if not something worse. However it’s not uncommon to feel negative along with a degenerative disease. Instead it’s been like a frog in a pot of water when the heat is turned up, it doesn’t notice how hot it is getting. Until it’s boiling and nearly cooked. It’s been a slow decline, which has made it easier to adjust to this condition. Little by little I’ve ended up quadriplegic. I can’t move anything below my neck unless someone does it for me, but I can feel everything and there’s nothing wrong with my mind, I can still make a cogent point or “so I’m presuming”. 

An example… I felt some depression when I fell down one day and wasn’t able too get back up. So I cried and went to the doctor, he treated it biochemically. Right now I’m taking two anti- depressant and a sleep aid, one is for a problem mood and the other is for PseudoBulbar Affect. The sleep aid is common obviously, to help me sleep.

To be sure, depression can be part of Multiple Sclerosis but if it’s treated and there is someone who can be trusted and vented too, it helps. And surrounding yourself with happy people is another important facet in the treatment of this condition, positive thinking is difficult but do able with assistance.

So, in keeping with my metaphor of climbing a mountain. One must try to keep looking up to the peak. The climb is worth the view at the top. Even when they’re gaps.